The Eyepocalypse. It's slowly coming to an end. 

Emphasis on   S  L  O  W  L  Y.

I guess I should write about it since I posted on facebook about my eye and scared everybody. I’m fine. I’m actually a little better than I was before. Imagine that.

People keep asking me if I can see out of my crazy eye. Yeah. I can see. Can I see WELL? Not exactly. My vision up close has improved A LOT. My distance vision? Not so much. My pupil is still giving me problems. Mr. Rheumatologist told me it was "sluggish" in its response. I've found that if I have both eyes open, I rely on my good eye to see, and my bad eye just goes blurryville. But if I close my good eye and force my stink eye to actually do something for a change, she tries her darnedest to see what I need to see. I tested it out at work the other day to see if it would focus, and i decided to look at the office keyboard. All the little letters were going skinny and tall, and then short and fat, and then skinny and tall, and then short and fat. At least I know she working in there. Ms. Ophthalmologist told me that it's "too soon to tell" if it will ever go back to normal and it may not ever. Not exactly the news you want to hear. She DID tell me I could wear contacts again. That was fun after not wearing them for 2 months. Felt like walking around in a fishbowl. Hopefully over the next few weeks, my vision will keep improving.

What's reeeeeeallly funny is that my eye doctor told me as she was running out of the room, "I want to see you again in two months! Byeeee!" I didn't have the heart to tell her, "I'm gonna be in Scotland in two months! Byeeeee!" I guess we'll figure this out later.

This is Dr. Fitzmorris, my eye doctor, checking out some old lady's eye pressure.

Well...after almost exactly 48 hours of wearing contacts, though, I was getting ready for work and I looked at my eye and HOLY COW, it turned red again! And it was all hurty and stuff! I immediately took the contacts out and began the panic process. I ended up calling the eye doctor, scheduling another appointment with them, and starting back on those blasted eye drops. And literally 24 hours later, it was fine. No pain, no pressure, no bright red ring around the blue part (which looks really really scary, by the way). So I called the eye doctor AGAIN, cancelled my appointment (after some awkward crying and making the nurse feel reeeeeeeealllly bad about how expensive my bloodwork was) and they are weaning me off the eye drops. Flare ups are apparently normal and it may keep doing that the rest of my life. Greeeeeeeat. 

But good news! I am privileged to be the Matron of Honor in my dear friend Jolynne Fross' wedding at the end of July. She was one of my roomies in college and now we're lucky enough to live close to each other for a little bit before life happens and goes all nuts. I love her! And I love planning someone ELSE’S wedding. It’s so much less stressful than planning my own was. And I've been waiting for her to get married for everrrrr. I'm sure she has too :)

Love this girl!

But speaking of stress: Scotland! We really need to plan for this giant move that's about to happen. Right now, we've paid our deposit and we're waiting to hear back from the University (did I mention it's been almost 4 weeks??) I am getting a little impatient because there's not really much other planning we can do until we have visas, but we can't get our visas without this little Confirmation of Acceptance of Studies number, which the school has yet to assign to us. Can't book hotels or plane ticket dates or train tickets or anything until we know for sure that we're actually going to be in the country at that time. Clay even called them and asked them what was going on, and they said they were working tirelessly to get to everyone, but that we would need to be patient. So... we're waiting. 

In the meantime, I am compiling every single bit of rewards points and credit card points and survey points that I have to try to get us a place to stay for a few days while we look for a place to live. Here is our tentative plan:

Hopefully GET OUR VISAS.

Apply for some sweet student loans. Or win the lottery.

Quit my job at the end of July. Cry and cry and cry.

Jolynne’s wedding weekend July 25-27

Leave NOLA after Jolynne's wedding. 

Stay with my parents in PCB for a while. Go to the beach and get a little tan. Spend time with the best sister of all time. Give little Yaris to them.

Go to Atlanta. Spend time with family and friends and go see the Braves a few times. Yes, I said TIMES!

Fly to Scotland the 2^nd week or so of August (depending on how flights look).

Get there? Go… live somewhere?

That's the plan.

I got new glasses!! I love Natalie Gainey!!

What's your post about?

That's what Clay told me to name my post. 

Well… good things and sad things always happen.

We spent last weekend at the beach with Matt, Elise, Trevor, and Kate, some of our dearest and bestest friends. We went to Pensacola with Matt and Elise last year and had a hoot and a half, so we were excited to be able to do this again. We basically sat out on the beach, or ate and ate and ate. It was magical. We also got to have brunch with the wife of the late Larry Butler, Kenny Rogers’ producer. It was pretty surreal, especially looking at an actual Grammy and autographs and pictures and all kinds of records and whatnot on the walls. My personal favorite was an autographed page of lyrics from Johnny Cash and Julie Andrews.

JULIE ANDREWS! IN THEIR HALF-BATHROOM!! If you didn't know this, Julie Andrews reminds me of my mother, and my childhood. So everyone should watch this and sing along: Watch me!

Anyway, here are some of my favorite pictures from our fun trip. We had such a great time. Thanks to Sam Ritchie and Kellie Crumpton for buying me the disposable cameras for my honeymoon 3 years ago that I ended up using on this trip. 

But the sad part is that Trevor and Kate are moving to New York. Like, today. Like, they literally got in the truck with Bella and drove away today. We love them. But Kate got accepted to the Master’s program at Pratt. So she has to go be an amazing master of art history and arty things. We love them. That’s why we gave them Bella. And she gave us wieners. WIENERS!

God is so good. My last couple of posts were a little heavy on the "people are telling us we shouldn't go to Scotland because my eye is falling out and I wrecked little Yaris," and some readers got all mad and wanted to revolt. Let me just tell you how God is making everything SO CLEAR.

• Medical bills are almost paid in full. Just chest x-ray here, eye exam there, 'roids, 'roids, 'roids. The only big one left is the bloodwork, but it is FARRRRR less than what we were expecting. One bill literally has 85% of the original cost mysteriously cut by something called "insurance discount." AND I made the full amount ALMOST ON THE PENNY in overtime last pay period.

• Parents told us not to fix little Yaris because she's going to them in August. Not a pretty gift to give your parents as a thank you for raising you but really. She's not as bad as that station wagon that we drove in Georgia.

• With some very generous donations from our church and family, we were able to pay the down payment on Clay's degree to secure our spot without touching our savings account. Even with all the medical bills, we haven't touched our savings and have continued to press on toward having a significant chunk of money for our visas. I can't tell you how much this blows my mind. I've monitored our bank account for weeks now, and I don't know how it's all happening, but God is miraculously working everything out for us. THIS IS HUGE.

Faith. God isn’t making it super easy, but He’s making it very clear.

However. If anyone has some expert advice on the following, please, by all means, butt into my life:

• Cheapest way to move our things to Scotland (take on the plane, ship, mail, etc)
• where to live, and where to live while we’re finding a place to live
• finding me a job in Scotland
• finding a cheap train ticket from Manchester to Leuchars
• anything else really that you would like to tell me in general

because no, I still don’t know any of it.

I'll leave you with this funny little story. Remember last time how I said my pupil was all weird? Well. I went to the rheumatologist today and he told me my sluggish pupil was the result of possible scar tissue, and then he said, "Are you taking any dilating eye drops? Nooooo, I'll let your eye doctor tell you what to do." Soooo, being hasty, I pulled out my dilating eye drops, popped one in, and then things got reeeeeeaaaallly crazy. 

Do you see it?

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Shouldn't have done that. Whoops. 

Carm

Well, I waited too long between posts. Sorry everybody! SO MUCH IS HAPPENING!!

Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. Apparently, I've got a little of that in me? When I went to see the rheumatologist a few weeks ago, I missed when he told me this. Or maybe I wasn't paying attention? I remember him saying, "Hey, one of your blood tests came back barrrrrrrrely positive, so I'm putting you on hydrochloroquine and I'll see you in 3 weeks." I think that's how it went.

Anyway, remember last time when I said I was an interesting case? Well, this is why. It's considered an "overlap syndrome" because a lot of different symptoms show up with it. BUUUT, the prognosis is good because it responds to corticosteroids and is generally treatable. Good for me, because at this point, I'm not even showing symptoms.

Common symptoms include: fatigue, cold, numb fingers, muscle and joint pain, and SAUSAGE FINGERS. I know I shouldn't laugh, but literally, EVERY SINGLE GOOGLE SEARCH PAGE lists "sausage fingers" as a symptom! I just can't help but giggle.

Aaaaanywho. Went to see the eye doctor again and for the first time in a month and a half, she was pleased with my progress and told me to come back in a MONTH. HOWEVER. My pupil is a different shape? Nothing to be alarmed about, but it freaked me out when I first noticed. For those of you who love Google, you've probably googled all the crazy things I've been writing about. I'm guilty of this as well. But apparently, pupils change shape a little as the inflammation is healing. I swear, some of these Google images show Starship Enterprise-shaped pupils. But it's nice to not have to schedule my life around appointments.


Wake up. Put on glasses. Eat Breakfast. Eye drops. Multivitamin. Prednisone. Hydrochloroquine. Live a little. Eat Lunch. Maybe work some. Eat Dinner. Another Prednisone.  This is my day. Not too shabby.



Except for my glasses. Had these since 2004. Soon to be fixed by the amazing Natalie Gainey.

In other news, our last day at The Lord's Church was last week. It's a really bitter sweet time for us. We've been there since 2009. They've been our support through our ENTIRE engagement, walked through almost the whole three years we've been married, and helped us spiritually, emotionally and financially through school, fires, moves, car wrecks, and all kinds of other disasters. We COULD NOT have made it through the last 3 years without them. Wouldn't have been possible. I got to hug everybody again at church and it broke my heart thinking that I won't be able to hug them again next week and watch our students grow into adults. I gotta stop writing about this. It's the prednisone. It makes me cry.

Lots of things are on the horizon. Good to know God is in control. And good to know someone out there made a recipe for homemade girl scout samoas, because I made these beauties. You're welcome. 

Sponkedonketitis!

Updates. I know you all want them.

I thought last year was the most ridiculous year ever. So far, 2013 has been a test of faith. Let's see how we're holding up, shall we?

I still have uveitis. It's been 36 days since the "Ojo Rojo" day at work when everyone thought I had been crying. Lots of ups and downs since then. Since my last post, my eye doctor saw lots of improvements in my eye, and began tapering off on my eye drops (no more dilated eyes!). However, 3 days later, my eye flared up again, turning a lovely shade of angry red and hurting like the Dickens. (What does that phrase even mean?). I called the eye doctor, who then informed me that I was positive for the gene HLA-B27, and she didn't want to make any decisions about my eye until talking to my rheumatologist.

HLA-B27 is a gene that's pretty hard to figure out. It is most commonly associated with ankylosing spondylitis, (what I've been calling sponkedonketitis for the last 2 weeks now) which is a chronic inflammatory disease of the spine that can eventually cause the spine, hips, and/or ribs to fuse together. Pretty crazy. But here's the thing. I DON'T HAVE IT. At least not yet. So there's some hope. I also don't have Lupus (remember the good ol' high ANA levels?) So Mr. Rheumatologist said, "Well, Carmen, you're an interesting case."

I knew that all along.

Long story short, he put me on some semi-long-term anti-inflammatory/malaria (ha!) medication (hydroxychloroquine, for those of you who are medically inclined) and he said it should really help keep both the AS and the Lupus at bay, for now at least. He said there were some other stronger medications that he could put me on instead, but they have more severe side effects (like, stimulating Lupus or AS, or not allowing me to get pregnant, or if I DO get pregnant, I would have to have an immediate abortion - yeah, that serious.) So this seemed like the best option. As for it helping the uveitis, he said that because it is so rare and unpredictable, there's no telling if it will improve with the drugs or not. Only time and patience for now.

Many thanks to Kelly Singletary for taking me to the rheumatologist for all of 20 minutes... and driving across the twin-span in a torrential downpour during a tornado warning!

As for my eye, she's improving. However, not without consequences. Tuesday, after attempting to drive out of the parking lot at work, I wrapped little Yaris around a brick building (like, literally got it stuck on the corner of a brick building) and scratched her up pretty badly. I couldn't get her un-stuck, so I ended up grabbing a bunch of my team members to get it out, only making me more embarrassed, and then cry in front of everyone. Wah wah wah, life is hard. It's just a car. I just feel badly for her, she's so ugly now.

We're all moved in with John and Lauren, and it's been nice having grown-up roommates again. We plan meals and groceries together. I'm learning how strong-willed two year olds are. I get a dog that not only snuggles with me but protects me... and climbs trees?



As for Scotland, I don't have much to update. No, we still don't know where we're going to live... or really what we're going to do when we get off the plane. It's a little scary. I love to plan and stay ahead of the game, but I think God is really testing my trust in him. A lot of people have been asking me if I think all these problems are God's way of telling us not to go to Scotland. Honestly, I don't think God works that way. We've been in constant prayer about this whole thing. Why would God affirm our decision to go in prayer and then turn around and make everything difficult and say, "Well, figure it out. Do I want you to go or not?" God has given Clay and me complete peace about the move. Now, the details, we have yet to work out. The money situation, ehh, money comes and goes. We knew we wouldn't get the $35,000 that we need to show to the Scotland Visa people that we have the finances to pay for tuition and living expenses. Loans never killed anybody. But we know we're right where we're supposed to be, and we're just going to trust that God will help us work out the details.

So on that note, I'll leave you with some comedic relief.

When Clay is upset about something, he makes angry cat sounds and makes angry cat ears. I love him. He just hit his head on the wall trying to get a look at what I'm writing and made more angry cat sounds. Ha!

Found this picture of my favorite teacher in high school, Mr. Norton, when I was cleaning out my apartment. Now, the funny thing about this picture is that a student bet him $10 that he wouldn't be able to get his eyes completely shut in his yearbook picture. He said over and over, the photographer snapped the picture, and each time, his eyes were shut, so the guy just kept taking more. Finally, after the 5th picture, he got this masterpiece. Halfway. He only got $5. But this picture was up on the Wall of Glory in AP Lit and I snagged it at the end of my senior year. Love that guy.

Got some fun stuff coming up this summer! Hopefully, new glasses and a healed eye are in my  very near future!

Carm

Sooo. Uveitis. Still got it.

Let me tell you how weird the last few weeks have been. After taking entirely too much time off of work (it stressed me out to think about my operator running my shifts for me), I tried getting back into the swing of things, and it's been a bit of an adjustment. I have what my co-workers refer to as "shy eye," because whenever anyone starts talking about my eye, or I start thinking about it, or I start thinking about people looking at it or anticipating talking about it, it clamps shut and starts to water. Ridiculous. Here's some pictures of the eye in the beginning. Be careful though. You might get the shy eye when you look at them.


The eye is getting better. They gave me some steroids to take that made me cry all the time, but it improved my vision to the point where I can keep the eye open and am able to read SOME things (unfortunately, the tiny print on this screen is not one of them). In the beginning, it was like looking into the sun. Any light, and I really mean ANY light, was excruciatingly painful. It got so bad that I put boxes in the windows and hung sheets in front of the curtains to block out the light. Clay came home from work and found me not eating (the kitchen was too bright), sitting in the dark, watching Alice in Wonderland, with the windows all crazy rigged up, and he said it was like walking into the living room of a serial killer.


I've come a long way since then. I've been back to the eye doctor 4 times now. I've also given blood 3 times. THREE. The first time, they took 16 vials. (You remember, I turned pasty green and ate the lady's jelly beans?) The second time, they took one. (Whoops, forgot the HLA-B27 - whatever that is) Today, they took 6. And there still aren't really any definitive answers.

Here's what we DO know:

First round of blood tests = high ANA levels. These are "antinuclear antibodies" and it means that my body is fighting itself from the inside. Apparently, this is an indicator of Lupus or some other autoimmune disorder. It was the only test that came back positive, so I guess it's good that I don't have Lyme disease or AIDS. Sooooo... eye doctor referred me to a rheumatologist to see if I have Lupus.

Rheumatologist asked me a billion questions today.

• Do you have any lower back pain? Uhhh, no. And I lift 30-50lb boxes at work on a regular basis.
• Do you sometimes get red butterfly rashes on your face? If I go out in the sun without sunscreen, but that's typical for a ginger.
• Do your knees sometimes turn red in a lacy pattern? That sounds like crazy talk.
• Do your joints hurt? not at all.
• Do your fingers turn blue or purple when they get cold? I think I would have noticed that by now.

And the whole time he's asking me these questions, he's moving all my joints around like I'm a rag doll. Moving my wrists up and down. Pushing on the top middle part of my foot. Putting his thumbs on all my knuckles. Checking my nail beds for some weird word I don't remember. I also almost kicked him in the face when he grabbed my knees. I'm really stinkin ticklish.

But he had the same reaction that my eye doctor did. "Well, I'm gonna send you for some more blood work to rule out the scary stuff. But it really all may come back negative, since you're not showing any symptoms of anything really. Just the crazy eye." He also said that, instead of the ANA being an indicator of some disease that's causing my uveitis, the uveitis may be causing my ANA levels to be high? So I really may just be fine and my eye is deciding to eat itself from the inside like a pacman.

On a brighter note, we're almost completely moved out of campus housing and into the Ball's house! Tomorrow, we get the last of our things and turn in our keys. We feel completely blessed to have some amazing friends help us save some money over the summer by letting us stay with them until we head out to Scotland. I am enjoying having a friend to cook with, a dishwasher, and a puppy and toddler to play with, and a Roomba to scare me by cleaning randomly in the middle of the morning. Also, squirrels everywhere? Climbing on the windows and the porch?

Also, the husband has been great through the whole thing. Taking me to the doctor over and over again. Spending our days off in and out of the lab getting bloodwork done. Helping me feverishly pack up all of my random stuff that I've been hoarding collecting over the last 2 years in Crutcher. Making sure to hug me when we get back-billed by all of our doctors because Guidestone insurance pretends to pay for stuff and then tells you that you owe more money. He really is the best.

Let's continue to pray for my eye though, because I'm still wearing my bobo glasses from high school and I have to renew my passport. Who wants a picture of a crazy eye in their passport picture for the next ten years?? Not this girl.

Carm

Eyepocalypse 2013

Well... 

This post is going to have nothing to do with Scotland. It's going to recap the Eyepocalyse of 2013, as my loving husband calls it. Get ready for an awesome recap of the last week and a half.

Saturday: Woke up with a red eye. Not red enough to scare you, but red enough for all the kitchen ladies at my work to start calling me "Ojo Rojo," and ask me if I had been crying. A little sensitive to light, nothing crazy. Just a little twinge. 

Sunday: Went to church with a headache. Told our church about Scotland. Wrote a fun blog post. Got to hug every single person in church that day (Best. Day. Ever.) Tried not to think about my eye. 

Monday: Saw Jurassic Park in 3D. Probably a mistake, but it was there that I noticed my vision was a little crazy. By that night, my eye was throbbing. Couldn't sleep well. 

Tuesday: Got to work, couldn't see. My coworkers helped me laugh through two hours of wearing sunglasses, and my boss sent me home. Not really sure how I drove home, but I took the long way through City Park and pulled over 4 times to pray and donkey cry in people's driveways. Clay took me to a walk in clinic, and they said, "Well, darn, ya got pink eye!" and I said, "uhhh... I'm not showing the normal symptoms of pink eye. I've had it before, this doesn't feel like pink eye." and he said, "Blah blah blah, get this really expensive medicine, it will fix EVERYTHING."

Wednesday/Thursday: Went to work, not any better. Expensive honey-like eye drops not helping at all. Eye started to cloud over, to the point where I could only see shapes/colors. 

Friday: Clay took me back to the doctor. Doc took one look at my eye and said, "Ooh! Uveitis! You need to see an ophthalmologist right now! It's a matter of sight or blindneeeeeesssssss!" 

So begins my crazy day. Found the eye doctor at probably the biggest hospital complex on the planet (with one eye). Sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. The eye doctor put 15 eye drops in my eye and bombarded me with rapidfire questions (all while buzzing around the room on a rolley chair, putting random eye drops in and shining colored lights in my eye - just imagine. it was a circus.):

Have you been losing weight? (a little but not really)

Any recent bug bites? (no)

Any coughing? (well... a little)

AND EVERYTHING STOPPED.

Do you do any volunteer work? (uhhh... I work at Chick-fil-A?)

YOU NEED A CHEST X-RAAAAAYYYYYY!

You might have tuberculosis! It's a common cause of uveitis! You need to get it done immediately! Get these two eye drops and put them in your eyes! One's a steroid! One will dilate your eye! See you Monday.

Chest X-ray took 5 minutes. They sent me on my way, telling me the eye doctor would contact me with the results. 

That's really how it all went. Just as a side note. Clay had to go to work after taking me to the first doctor, and my boss, Tom, picked me up and took me everywhere I needed to go. He waited at the eye doctor for me and at the X-ray place, and then took me to Walgreens and home, before telling me not to worry about work until I got better. God put this man in my life for a reason, and if you say your prayers tonight, thank God for Tom Maloney. 

Soooo. Since this is already way too long. I'll recap. I don't have TB. My sister, the registered nurse, has never heard of uveitis. Thought I needed to rat her out. The eye has progressed a little. Went back to the eye doctor and they made me get bloodwork. Just to rule out the other common causes of uveitis (which are apparently Lyme disease, cancer, HIV, and some others). They took 16 vials of my blood, which was no fun, but I did get to eat the nurse's jelly beans because they didn't have anything else and apparently, I turned a lovely shade of pasty green. Blood work comes back later this week. I'm on a low dose of steroids, so don't make me mad. 

More to follow. Just wanted everyone to know so I don't have to spend years going through everything. And if you'd like a real picture of what my eye looked like, this was when I could finally open it myself.

 Hope this was as much fun for you to read as it was for me to live it. Actually, I don't. Because this was not fun. AT ALL.

Carm

Soooooooo. Scotland?

Clay has known for a while that he was a genius and wanted to study abroad. Having gotten two degrees from a Baptist seminary, he thought that it would be wise to diversify his education. I was thinking, "Yeah, we'll go to Baylor, we'll go to Emory, we'll go to Boston University."

Nope. SCOTLAND. 

God has really put things into motion for all of this to happen. He's brought people into our paths who have encouraged us through the whole process. You know, those fun things that God does? Where you're like, "Hey, God, is this really what you want me to do? I feel like it's not right." and then He's all, "Hey, I'm going to put you on a connecting flight to Atlanta and randomly sit you next to a guy who graduated from St. Andrews." That kind of thing. 

Oh yeah, and the acceptance letter. He's soooooo smart that he got accepted into the MLitt program, and we'll be doing that for a year and then moving on into PhD. 

I'm not going to lie. I am scared. SOOOOO scared. Like, watching the movie Scream in the 7th grade scared. Well, maybe not that scared. Maybe more like, I'm moving to a place I've never been before and I don't have much money and we are literally going to fly over there not knowing where we're going to live.

Buuuuut, it's going to be an adventure. 

Lots of questions. 
Where to live. (How will we find an apartment from the states?) 
Jobs. (Will they let me work in a bakery???) 
Transportation. (Little Yaris is going to the Turners... but how are we getting everything over there??) 
Finances. (Right now, $1=0.66 pounds) 
Tuition? (uhhhh... you don't even want to know what kind of nonsense it is going to cost us... AND SCOTTISH PEOPLE GO FOR FREE. blerg.)

We've already answered some questions though. We're living with some friends through the summer to save money. My boss and co-managers are helping me work more hours to make more money. We're giving our precious Bellatrix to some friends who are moving up north. We're keeping all of our summer clothes in the states because we won't need them. 

We also know some pretty cool things. This year, the University of St. Andrews is the 3rd oldest English-speaking University in the world, and is celebrating their 600th year. That means that people were studying in this castle school 80 years before Christopher Columbus got in his little boat and came over to this side of the world and found the continent where we currently live. 

Christopher Columbus:
1) looks like he smells a farty smell. 
2) has crazy eyes. 






I feel like this is the most random post. But I've been saving all these thoughts for months. Time for everyone to experience the crazy and live this with me! 

Carm