The Post Office

This post is going to be very boring to all but about 6 people. 

Exactly 4 years ago, back in 2009, I worked at the post office on campus with some of my greatest friends. We had so many weird and funny things happen to us that we decided to blog about it. We kept it up for a whole week before someone higher up in the administration saw it and shut it down. As a matter of fact, they stormed over to the post office and yelled at us, banging their fists on the counter and telling us that our songs and quotes were "completely unprofessional." Kind of ironic, don't you think?

Anyway, before I deleted the blog, I copied and saved it onto a word document. Here it is, in all its magical glory. This is for you Patricia, Brent, and Wade.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Post Office Blues

Well hello!

Wade says that I should start this blog from my heart, but I'm still not done drinking my coffee, so that won't really work.

This blog is a place for us to get out all the things we whisper to each other when all the customers leave. Yeah... I'll bet you didn't think we talked after you guys left, did you? This will mostly likely include rants about angry, belligerent customers, ridiculous customer quotes, the interesting conversation topics that we have, and Brent's songs (that he most definitely is NOT making up on the spot). We're going to try to have a quote of the day, which will be the dumbest or funniest quote or question that we get from a customer. And if we have more than one really bad one, we'll have a tie. That's only fair.

So... enough of this beginning chit chat! Let's get rolling with the blog!

Oh, and if you would like, you can drop on by and hear all of us trip over our words today. Apparently, none of us can speak coherent English.

More to come later!

*Update* 10:35am

An anonymous person dropped off a letter for Brent today:



Apparently, someone is holding a grudge against Brent.

*Update* 1:50 pm

Here's our first quote of the blog!

Brent: "How can I help you, ma'am?"
Customer: "I need some 1 cent stamps."
Brent: "How many would you like?"
Customer: "We've got a bunch of 42 cent stamps. Give me $5 worth."
Brent: "Ma'am, that's 500 stamps."
Customer: "Oh H*** no! I don't want that many stamps!"
Brent: "Well, they're 1 cent a piece..."

Priceless!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The calmer side of the GPP

Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually pretty boring since it is just me (Patricia) and Wade until 2:00. But we do have meaningful conversations until Brent and Carmen come in to start the chaos. We talk about church, politics, and anything else we can think of to talk about. We get a little more work done during this time as well.

We also get to close for chapel from 11-12 every Tuesday and Thursday. This is fun because we get to close down the front and take that time to sort mail, or just relax a little. You would be amazed at the number of people who come in, see the front gate closed and walk all the way up to the gate, just to ask, "Are you closed?" Hmmm...what was your first clue? The gate being down? Or maybe the lights in the front being off? Wait, I know, I bet it was the six signs that you passed to walk up to the gate that state that we are closed from 11-12 every Tuesday and Thursday. That was it wasn't it?

*Update, 2:00

Jerry Rankin came in today to buy a book of stamps. We are pleased to announce that he is a very polite customer. Nice to know a leader of the SBC is so respectful.

Quote of the day:

Brent: "What is that? A dead flower?"
Patricia: "It kind of looks like a vomiting butterfly."
Wade: "It was a beautiful banana flower until you mocked it."
Brent: "It DOES look like a vomiting butterfly!"

Here is our first Brent song:
(To the tune of "Turn Around Bright Eyes" by Bonnie Tyler)

Stay awake
Every now and then I wanna close my eyes
But I realize that I'm standing up
Stay awake right now
I don't wanna fall upon the floor

Oh, and one last thing...Carmen and Patricia are huge college football fans, despite it being unladylike. (Right Nikki Lively?)

Friday, November 6, 2009

I'm getting rid of Britta...

We here at the Post Office would like to tell everyone that if you don't watch "Community" Thursdays on NBC, you probably should. It's an awesome show, hence, the title of this post.

We also decided today that we're not going to limit ourselves to merely one funniest customer quote of the day anymore. There are just too many funny things that happen around here that we can't pass up.

First things first. Two ladies came into the post office this morning. We'll call them Lady 1 and Lady 2. Now, before you read anything else, you should know that Lady 1 and 2 were both dressed exactly the same. This knowledge will come in handy later in the story.

So, Lady 1 walks up to the counter to mail a letter and a package. Her friend, Lady 2, wanders around the post office, looking at the signs and forms and phone books and such. Finally, either Lady 2 got bored or realized it was much nicer outside, and she walked out of the post office and outside. A few minutes later, Lady 1 finished her transaction, grabbed her things, and headed for the door. Then, out of nowhere, she stopped about halfway to the door, turned to the big windows facing the Student Center, and said, "Are you ready to go?" She paused for a moment and then looked at Carmen, realizing that she just asked her reflection if it was ready to go. Apparently, she thought it was her friend Lady 2, since they were both dressed the same.

Priceless.

Customer: "If I put this mail in there, will the Postman take it out today?"

Patricia: "Yes ma'am, it will be picked up today."

Customer: "I know he'll pick it UP today, but will it GO OUT today?"

Brent: "They pick it up. That's all we know."

Oh. And we also have to mention. For a span of about 3 minutes, Patricia was complaining about hearing drums. At about 1:00, a marching band came playing down Gentilly and turned onto Press Drive. Sorry we didn't believe you.

Patricia: "See?! I knew I heard drums! I know I'm not crazy!!"

Here are some interesting pictures that we took today:

Carmen found a smile! Our mail bins are happy!

 

This is supposed to read, "Robbin." Does anybody out there see "Robbin?" We were all very confused. SIMPLY UNPREDICTABLE!

Monday, November 9, 2009

hurricane shmurricane.

Thanks to Lauren Ball for the title! yes, you did make the blog!

How was everyone's weekend? Today is MONDAY at the Gentilly Postal Plus! Which means 1) we get our biggest influx of mail for the week, and 2) we'll probably have everybody and their brother coming in the post office, asking if their letter/package/brownies/kung fu dvds/camo rainboots/fiber one samples have arrived (and yes, we've gotten all of those before). So don't you fret your pretty little face off just yet. By the time you read this, you'll be halfway to Tuesday with something funny to read!

Some Interesting Employee Conversation:

Patricia: "I think Miami is our second biggest hub."

Carmen: "Second?"

Patricia: "Yeah, Atlanta is the biggest hub."

Carmen: "Man, Atlanta is the hub of everything! The hub of Coca-cola, the hub of Delta, the hub of... awesome."

Patricia: "Stop saying, 'hub,' it sounds dirty!"

Carmen: "Someone from a 718 area code is calling me."

Brent: "Maybe it's Ida."

Carmen: "Hurricane Ida is not calling me, Brent."

Brent: (oblivious) "Did you hear that the health reform bill passed the house?"

Carmen: "The 1 trillion dollar health reform bill?"

Brent: (still not paying attention) "... STATEN ISLAND!"

Apparently, the area code for Staten Island is 718.

Brent: "Soft tacos used to be 59 cents!"

Carmen: "Well, now they're 99 cents..."

Brent: "I remember when you could go to Taco Bell and get like, 20,000 soft tacos for... 1000 dollars."

Brent, Patricia, and Carmen had Taco Bell for lunch, and it was amazing. Contrary to popular urban legends, Taco Bell does not serve worse quality meat than dog food or "Grade D" beef. There is no such thing as letter scale for rating meat. Taco Bell is just awesome and cheap and nobody can make sense of it.

Patricia: "Yope."

Carmen: (forwarding mail) "Who is Kenneth Bramlett?"

Brent: "You are!"

Carmen: "I'm Kenneth Bramlett?"

Brent: "Haha, yeah. Maybe we're all Kenneth Bramlett in a weird way."

Carmen: "...what?!"

Joey Braswell: "Joopah doopah dippity doo."

Carmen: "I'm glad I don't have poor eyesight, because I wouldn't be able to see these tiny little forwarding addresses."

Brent: "Me either, I hate eyesight!"

And last but not least
Mail of the day:

This piece of mail was delivered to a department on campus. Obviously, this person was enthusiastic about what the school is doing and how we are involved in his or her life. They made little notes all over the envelope to show their appreciation.

God's love kills them everyday... ?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

today is a day that will live in infamy,

actually, today was incredibly busy and we didn't have a lot of time to think about funny things or have funny conversations. sad, right? are you sad? i'm sad.

Wade: "Can I go to the Cafe?"
Patricia: "Absolutely."
Wade: "But you got to go with YOUR friend!"
Patricia: "I said yes!"

we'll leave you with one of Brent's songs. that should hold you until tomorrow.

Possibility!
Opportunity!
You awaken me!
"The Untitled Hymn"

See y'all tomorrow!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veteran's Day Special

In honor of our veterans, we have chosen to put up a high quality video of some good ol' Post Office patriotism. Please enjoy, and go hug a veteran.

Carmen: “You know when people say curse words and they say, “pardon my French?” why do they do that? Do we hate France that much?”

Wade: “I do.”

Carmen: “then why were you speaking French to me earlier?”

Wade: “… it was the post office demon.”

Carmen: “The post office demon was speaking French through you?”

Wade: “Oui.”

(laughing)

Wade: “sometimes I wish I wasn’t so quick.”

Because today is Veteran’s Day, we had to put up a sign that says that our mail will not be delivered or picked up today.  Still, even on days like today, there are always 2 or 3 of the same guys that come in, look at the sign, read it, and then go check their mail anyway.  Then, after realizing there’s STILL no mail in their box, they come back and read the sign again, and then make some joke about how mail’s not coming.  Ummm… how’d you get into college again? 

Wade: (looking at Christmas cookies on Good Housekeeping) “How do you get those silver beads on there?”

Carmen: “They’re little sugar sprinkle things you can buy from like, Michael’s or a baking store.”

Patricia: “You can even get them from Walmart in the baking section.”

Wade: “I’ll just put BBs on mine.”

  

Carmen: What time does the IT lab close?

Wade: “Your mom”

Carmen: “My mom is not a time.”

Wade: “Your mom transcends time.”

That's as far as we got. And since this post is already too long, here are some great pictures to enjoy!

our whiteboard was hilarious. 

thanksgiving!

Postal Pete. The original whiteboard character. 

Brent had a freakout moment and knocked these EVERYWHERE.

Sticky meter paper. 

we made glasses! This was during Thanksgiving break when nobody was on campus. 

Stanley, our postal guy!

We left our fridge outside to thaw and someone took it! This was all that was left. 

I don't know what was happening, but Wade has the best smile. 

Wade created our wedding invitations! 

This was seriously the most fun I've ever had at a job!

Carm